Happy 2018, New Year, New Goals, and all that good gushy stuff to all of my PLUMS!
This post was long overdue but very necessary as was my absence from thatplum which you’ll hear about more in depth in an extended version coming to you soon. So, I’ll keep it short for you guys because it’s RESET season and I’m reclaiming my time here at PLUM!
Aside from the obvious responsibilities of motherhood, and marriage, the life of Kaye had become more complex, busy, and increasingly challenging. While most women (many of whom I’m inspired by) make it appear effortlessly in sustaining the ‘balancing act’ of it all, I couldn’t!
” Even In The Face Of Adversity, At Some Point You Must Deal With The Presence Of What’s Happening In Your World “
The year of 2017, was my year of reflections. In the years leading up to that moment, I was enjoying life and basking in the happiness of my ‘high moments’. As a mother – I had gone from being a full time housewife of five years to ‘wonder woman’ thanks to the success of my blog that populated further than desired since it’s 2011 launch.
The first 3 -4 years I was on the move, and thought I had everything under control. I was producing 5-10 posts of daily writing content, attending 3-4 events per week, monthly speaking engagements, and fulfilling my role as a mother and wife.
You see – I never had a blueprint, a prior experience, exposure, internship, or ‘hook up’ to get into the industry. No one showed me the ropes, brought me in, and or told me ‘how to get it’ as a writer. But, I already had some of the tools needed to embark on this new chapter of mine.
As a woman of color; I was tenacious! As a creative; I was confident and full of great ideas. As an educator; I know the value of service to others and paying it forward. As a mentor and coach; I know the value in empowering others. So, my beginner steps to ‘figuring it out’ began with using my current tools and filling in the pieces of the puzzle as I moved further along.
It’s like making a vision board! You place your goals on a board that you want to achieve in the forms of words, images, affirmations, etc and you create actions steps for each of those goals along with a timeline of achievement dates for those goals. The board must be visible to you daily because it serves as a reminder to YOU in keeping your word and actions in obtaining your goals. That was Kaye, when it came to thatplum. I had a long term vision that included (the blog) to serve as the vehicle to get to my ultimate dream – but I had to first execute plum.
The timing of it all was perfect! I had given birth to my second child, my husband and I was moving upward from our one-bedroom shack to a newly-built home, and finally since the age of 14, I would sacrifice my own independence and take a leave from the 9-5 workplace to become a stay-at-home mother. I had time to study, research, build content, and create my own brand. These moments were self-defining for me, and they came with a few tears and many joys, but nonetheless -they were my priceless moments.
Opportunities were pouring in left and right, my kids were flourishing in their development, hubby and I were thriving in our marriage and business and things seem to be falling into place for us. I felt like things could only go up from this moment –
and then,
In the midst of my ‘good seasons’, I was hit with some extreme ‘lows’ that directly impacted me mentally and spiritually. At those times, I should’ve stopped and been present in what was taking place in my life; allowing myself to go through the process. But, I kept going and suppressed those feelings instead!
The things that I was accustomed to (ie: real feelings, friendships, interconnectivity with others, etc ) somehow got lost along the way. It’s like Social Media! As a new ‘friend entry’ of whatever platform you’re choosing to be on, in the beginning there’s much optimism and excitement to share, converse, and co-exist in a space with others, and so you begin authentically. But, it slowly morph’s you into a something else.
” People Pleasers Quickly Lose Sight Of Their Value”
Posts and pics are now premeditated by the ‘linguistics of likes and followers’. Your now doing things for a particular result which is inconsistent of your normal behavior because your caught up in the matrix. There’s no legitimate reasoning for your actions (like a new business venture of yours that may require you to recruit others, or build a consumer base), and while your trying to keep up with the trend of others (many of whom you don’t know personally and or outside of your phone/computer screen) – you’re losing your authentic-self in the process.
My passion for writing has always been my outlet to release my inner thoughts, opinions, ideas, dreams, and provide story-telling since I was an adolescent. It’s one of my natural talents! So, when I decided to blog -I’d done it in such a unpretentious way, opportunities came knocking at my doorstep.
The Blogsphere was new to mainstream media. It was edgy, different, entertaining, honest, and quickly dominated the digital market. I was inspired to join the movement of independent bloggers /journalists who fearlessly carved a lane for themselves to share their opinions on various topics in entertainment and in politics. Some, took it a step further by using this new platform to spark conversation that was only often seen or heard amongst close peers, family, and inside certain social quarters.
We, the bloggers were breaking the news, delivering investigative journalism with a more innovative and visual approach. We influenced main stream media to switch up their format with new segments and cover topics that were seldomly discussed. As seen today, bloggers and mainstream media are a power force in disseminating information to the public.
” A Popular Choice Doesn’t Mean The Right Choice”
I’ve met some influential and empowering individuals along my journey, and quite a few charlatans who aspired to nothing more than to achieve fame. I’ve seen the highs and lows of trying to make it in the industry and I don’t feel like I’m even close to where I want to be as yet, but the time had come where I needed to take a break from the industry.
Yes, I was booked and busy! But I was un-balanced trying to multi-task and be anywhere and everywhere. My creative juices were no longer flowing with ease. It was time to hit the STOP button. One of my favorite quotes is: ” Even Trees Need A Break To Grow Back Stronger. “ There was a moment where I felt like the ‘energizer commercial bunny’. I had to keep moving (by any means), and move at a rapid pace to be at the top of my game and competitive with my peers, but I soon realized that my battery life was sure to die (fast) if I didn’t sustain ‘its power’.
The industry is like the energizer bunny commercial; it portrays truth and lies, but YOU must discern between the two. Many of us are the ‘energizer bunnies’ full of love, soul, ambition, art, and creativity and because it is innately who we are, too often we selflessly and willingly give our service, talent and time freely to others without protection. But, who restores our battery life when it dies out?
” The RESET Awakening “
During my reflection period, I was reminded that I AM the gatekeeper of my battery life. Although I continued to create, and work for others, I’d somehow lack the desire to write for plum. It was like GOD had purposely placed me under a spiritual cleansing that allowed me to confront and get clear from any and all disturbances and distractions that was altering me from ‘keeping the balance’.
To restore my power, I had to re-discover my truth. I had to learn when and how to separate myself from the confusion, false stories, and toxic people. I sought to re-engage myself with real and meaningful things (ie: diary journaling, book reading, quality time with family / friendships, and personal time with my self and my side-kick mother nature), and I was a happier Kaye.
Losing unhealthy relationships was not an emotional roller-coaster and self-guilt process that needed to be examined by others. ‘Letting Go’, ‘Forgiveness’ , ‘Having Gratitude’, and ‘Moving Forward’ for my highest good was necessary for my growth and I’d begun to see myself again.
I was less-stressed, more creative, and self-motivated which inspired me to return to my role as a life coach inside the workplace. New and different opportunities bloomed over me yet again, and I’ve formed new relationships personally and professionally.
It was the year of 2017, during my wins and losses, I took a worthwhile risk that served a bigger purpose than people pleasing. I CHOSE SELF, and by the end of 2017, I found myself in the center of the balancing beam in control of my self-worth, value, and life’s purpose.
Maybe this was all pre-destined somehow because 2018 is my seventh (7th) year! So, I’ll spare you the ‘what’s up next, and or what you can expect’ talk . What is true is that I’ve missed writing on plum, and interactions with my supporters. If your reading this, and still with me, I welcome you on this new journey of the life Kaye Plum!
One Love PLUMS!